The Whole-Brain Child: 12 Proven Strategies to Nurture Your Child's Developing Mind

Neuropsychiatrist Daniel J. Siegel and parenting expert Tina Payne Bryson explain how a child's brain is wired and how it develops, and why that makes tantrums, meltdowns and big fears so normal. They then give parents 12 practical strategies to turn those difficult moments into chances to help their child's brain grow.

Why Dad Recommends It

I love how this book makes sense of meltdowns. Once you understand that the 'upstairs brain', which handles decisions and balancing emotions, is still under construction until the mid-twenties, and that in young children emotion often wins over logic, a lot of challenging behaviour stops feeling personal. What I think parents will value most is that the science leads straight to things you can do, with memorable names like 'Name It to Tame It', 'Engage, Don't Enrage' and 'Move It or Lose It'. There are even illustrations designed to help you explain these ideas to your children. At 192 pages, it's also short enough for a busy parent to finish.

What Children Can Learn

Children learn that feelings come and go, and that putting a name to a big feeling or telling the story of what happened can help calm it down. They also start to notice what's going on inside them so they can make better choices.

What Parents Can Take From It

The most practical idea is to connect before you correct. When a child is upset, their logical brain is largely offline, so acknowledge the feeling first and talk about the behaviour once they're calm. 'Name It to Tame It' is a lovely one to use after a scary or upsetting day: help your child tell the story of what happened. 'Move It or Lose It' is a reminder that a run round the garden or a silly dance can shift a bad mood faster than any lecture. It's also worth reading the explanations together with your partner so you're both using the same language.